Most dads have jokes or at least think they do. These classic dad jokes will bring you back and have your reminiscing about all those times that your dad thought he was funny. While you may not have agreed at the time, these nostalgic dad jokes are sure to make you laugh or at least crack a smile.
Orange You Glad….
- Knock knock
- Who’s there?
- Banana
- Banana who?
- Knock knock
- Who’s there?
- Banana
- Banana who?
- Knock knock
- Who’s there?
- Orange
- Orange who?
- Orange you glad I didn’t say banana again?
Pizza Joke
Source: Shutterstock- Do you want to hear a joke about pizza?
- Never mind. It’s too cheesy.
Horsing Around
- Why did the pony get set to his room?
- Because he wouldn’t stop horsing around.
Cheese
- What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
- Nacho cheese.
Flowers
- What did the big flower say to the little flower?
- Hi, bud.
Europe Who?
- Knock knock
- Who’s there?
- Europe
- Europe who?
- No, you’re a poo.
Holy Water
Source: Shutterstock- How do you make holy water?
- Boil the hell out of it.
Not So French Fries
- Did you know the first french fries weren’t actually cooked in France?
- They were cooked in Greece.
Nap Resistance
- What do you call it when a child is refusing to take their nap?
- Resisting a rest.
Presidential
- The secret service has changed its protocol and no longer tells the president to “Get Down!” in the case of a threat.
- Now they say, “Donald, duck!”
What Don’t They Have?
- What do you call someone with no body and no nose?
- Nobody knows.
Spoken Language
- What is the least spoken language in the world?
- Sign language.
Popular Cemetery
- Did you hear how popular that cemetery is?
- People are dying to go there.
Justice
- Why is justice a dish best served cold?
- If it were warm, it would be justwater.
Knights Of The Round Table
- Who was the fattest knight at King Arthur’s round table?
- Sir Cumference. He had too much pi.
Pterodactly
- Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
- The pee is silent.
Vegetarian Zombies
- What do vegetarian zombies eat?
- Graaaaaains.
Even Robbery Can Be Funny
- What do you call someone who sees a robbery in an Apple store?
- An iWitness.
Atoms
- Why shouldn’t you ever trust atoms?
- They make up everything.
Invisible Man
Source: Shutterstock- Why did the invisible man turn down a job offer?
- He couldn’t see himself doing it.
Two Butts
- What has two butts and kills people?
- An assassin.
Elderly Pirate
- What did the pirate say when he turned 80?
- Aye matey.
Switzerland
- What’s the best thing about living in Switzerland?
- I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.
Not Your Average Dog
- What do you call a dog that can do magic?
- A labracadabrador.
Bikes
- Why couldn’t the bike stand up by itself?
- It was two tired.
No-Eyed Deer
- What do you call a deer with no eyes?
- No idea.
Time To Go To The Dentist
Source: Shutterstock- What’s the best time to go to the dentist?
- Tooth hurt-y.
Run Forrest Run
- What is Forrest Gump’s password?
- 1Forrest1
Octopus Tickles
- How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
- Ten-tickles.
Yearly Humor
- Can February March?
- No, but April May.
Buffalo School
- What did the buffalo say when he dropped his son off at school?
- Bison.
Selfish Shellfish
- Why didn’t the crabs share?
- They’re shellfish.
Cats Like Gaming Too
- Why was the cat so good at video games?
- The cat has nine lives.
Beethoven’s Fruit
- What was Beethoven’s favorite fruit?
- Ba-na-na-na.
Forever Young
- Where did the college-aged vampires like to go shopping?
- Forever 21.
Poker Game
- Why should you never play poker with big cats?
- One’s always a lion and the other is a cheetah.
Fallen Horse
- What did the horse say when it fell?
- Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup.
Loud Pets
- What’s the loudest pet that you can get?
- A trumpet.
Bouncing Planes
- What sound does a 747 make when it bounces?
- Boeing, Boeing, Boeing.
Intense…
- Did you hear about the circus fire?
- It was in tents.
An Unlikely Duo
- What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
- Frostbite.
Angry Peppers
Source: Shutterstock- What does an angry pepper do?
- It gets jalapeño face.
Joke About Paper
- Do you want to hear a joke about a piece of paper?
- Never mind. It’s tearable.
New Bands
- Have you heard of the new band 1023MB?
- They’re good but they haven’t got a gig yet.
Lonely Cheese
- What do you call a lonely cheese?
- Provolone.
Boogie Down
- How do you make a tissue dance?
- Put a little boogie in it.
Fast
- What do sprinters eat before a race?
- Nothing. They fast.
Cheap Concert
- What concert only costs 45 cents to attend?
- 50 Cent featuring Nickelback.
Scarecrow Award
Source: Shutterstock- Why did the scarecrow win an award?
- He was outstanding in his field.
Restaurant On The Moon
- Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?
- The food was great, but there was no atmosphere.
Melon Weddings
- Why do melons have weddings?
- They cantaloupe.
Buttery Rumors
- Did you hear the rumor about butter?
- I’m not going to spread it.
Penguin Homes
- How does a penguin build a house?
- Igloos it together.
Halloween Humor
- Why don’t skeletons go trick-or-treating?
- They have no body to go with.
Construction Joke
- Do you want to hear a joke about construction?
- I’m still working on it.
Italian Chef
- Did you hear about the Italian chef who died?
- He pasta way.
Brown And Sticky
- What’s brown and sticky?
- A stick.
Orange Parrot
- What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
- A carrot.
Peter Pan
- Why is Peter Pan always flying?
- He Neverlands.
Celebrate your dad the best way that any father could imagine. Bring some of his jokes back home or add some new ones to his repertoire.
